girlygrrl
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2010
- Messages
- 771
I'm trying to figure out what could be causing vertigo.
I know I've had ear inflammation for the past couple years, I did have a doc give me antibiotics for it and those didn't help my ear but instead caused a severe allergic reaction to where I broke out in hives and had violent shivering that I can only imagine was on par with an opiate withdrawal, it was really scary. Growing up I always had chronic ear infections and had surgery for that about 7 or 8 times. So I'm kinda used to ear problems which I know can be a cause. Thankfully my hearing remains unaffected, although sometimes I hear my heartbeat inside the eardrum when I'm trying to sleep, and have on occassion had buzzing in my ears for 5 to 10 seconds maybe once every few weeks.
This month I've done way more drugs than usual, I've done meph, 2ce, dxm, nitrous, and various combos of those. I also did pure molly last week. At the same time I've been kind of a health nut this month and have been taking lots of supplements and eating mostly small light meals like canned salmon and baby spinach salads and drinking meal replacement shakes.
After I did molly I haven't felt like doing any drugs at all. The day after I had the normal kinda fatigue/hangover with great headspace afterglow from the molly. I got some 5htp and ALA to take to kind of ease me out of it. But I was generally fine.
Next day I woke up feeling great and at baseline. I drank a meal replacement shake in the morning with several vitamins and anti-oxidants and felt fine but then after this I felt really sick maybe an hour later and felt kinda general malaise all day, which I thought could be some blood sugar related issue or something. I went to be early and felt fine when I woke up.
Next day I didn't drink any meal shakes and didn't take any supplements other than the 5-htp. I ate kind of a big breakfast and had some pizza that afternoon instead of the usual healthy regime. I drank a couple of energy drinks (I used to be addicted to caffeine and energy drinks but hadn't done any all month) and I felt completely fine.
I drank one of the meal shakes before going to bed and then when I woke up today I have had a lot of vertigo. I also drank one for breakfast. I don't feel the malaise like I did a couple days ago, but if I stand up fast or move my head or whatever it's like I am losing my balance. I haven't really had that happen to me before.
So I'm just trying to figure out how to pinpoint the root cause of the problem, whether it be the meal shakes, me having some sort of blood sugar/carb imbalance, the chronic ear problems I've had all my life, perhaps overexercise, diet issues, after-effects from molly, mild hppd, mephedrone withdrawal, sleep imbalance, or some combination. I'm not going to trip again on anything til I feel 100% "normal" for a few days (although the major depression I have that has been relieved by drug use is hardly "normal" and SSRI's fuck me up way worse than rec stuff tends to do)
I just want to be healthy and a major insight I've gotten from my introspective tripping has been just how unhealthy I've been, and frankly the drug use is not the most unhealthy part for me, more letting go and not loving myself and depression and eating like shit and not exercising, which I've been able to greatly improve upon in the recent history.
So I just would like to know what the cause of the vertigo could be really, I am worried it could be a major medical thing but I'm hoping it's just something specific like the meal shakes, just I don't have anything scientific with which to measure what the cause might be.
Generally from drugs the only ones I've gotten vertigo from are 2ce and salvia. Salvia's vertigo is the worst and lasts the entire trip as my equilibrium cannot tell which direction gravity is in and I end up merging with the bed or wall or floor or couch, so I don't do that very often anymore. But it's been well over a week since I did 2ce/sally and it wasn't until two days after the molly trip wore off that I had these odd symptoms. and it is weird that it skipped a day, which leads me to wonder if it's the meal shakes.
I know I have a potassium issue where I'm more sensitive than usual and I just noticed today that they have more potassium than I thought, but I've been using the shakes all month with no problem, and am trying to pinpoint if the new batch I got is bad or something. I don't think that vertigo can be caused by potassium OD.
Maybe I'm just being hyper paranoid, but as many drugs as I've done this month and even doing a lot more than usual I don't think I'm that out of control or being overly insensitive to my health, in fact I've been the opposite, kind of health-obsessed lately and exercising a lot more, and have been losing weight.
LIke a week ago I did too much meph to where I fucked up my sinuses and have decided not to snort meph anymore (saving that injection route for K only), and I know sinus crap can cause vertigo but the thing is that my sinuses have seemed fine.
I did find that some of the supplements I was taking (like my MV and vit C) were expired for a few years.
So I've been feeling like I've been too gung ho trying to solve all my problems all at once (mental / physical / emotional / spiritual) and I overexerted myself somewhere, but the only thing I really feel I overdid was the nasal meph but I stopped that long enough ago that I really don't think it could be WD from that.
I just want to be physically healthy and I know the reason why I get out of shape and feel physically like shit is from depression, and drugs help me cope with the many depression issues that I have, but then I don't need them to fuck me up physically too, I'm trying to heal myself somehow, and I don't know if I'm just sick like I caught some bug or have a disease or something or if I fucked up somewhere.
I'm just getting really anxious that I can't pinpoint the root cause, as facing and dealing with the root cause of issues seems to be the magic secret to fixing problems. Well the root cause of everything is stress/anxiety/depression, but that is what I've been trying to fix through self-medication and weight loss / exercise. So I feel kind of catch-22, if I'm going to deal with vertigo and shit maybe I should just do more MDMA so I can at least not feel so upset by it, but I'm thinking that if I start thinking that way it's going to start a bad cycle, and really the drug use has been helping me pull out of a major rut I've been in for years so I don't want to use it as a tool to mask the symptoms but rather to solve the problems.
I guess I can just hope that tomorrow I'm really at baseline, I don't mind a little HPPD but I'm really not digging vertigo or malaise especially when I have no freaking clue where it is coming from, there are just too many contributing factors. It could just be completely stress-related though, I have been juggling way too many things for one person to be dealing with all at once.
I know I've had ear inflammation for the past couple years, I did have a doc give me antibiotics for it and those didn't help my ear but instead caused a severe allergic reaction to where I broke out in hives and had violent shivering that I can only imagine was on par with an opiate withdrawal, it was really scary. Growing up I always had chronic ear infections and had surgery for that about 7 or 8 times. So I'm kinda used to ear problems which I know can be a cause. Thankfully my hearing remains unaffected, although sometimes I hear my heartbeat inside the eardrum when I'm trying to sleep, and have on occassion had buzzing in my ears for 5 to 10 seconds maybe once every few weeks.
This month I've done way more drugs than usual, I've done meph, 2ce, dxm, nitrous, and various combos of those. I also did pure molly last week. At the same time I've been kind of a health nut this month and have been taking lots of supplements and eating mostly small light meals like canned salmon and baby spinach salads and drinking meal replacement shakes.
After I did molly I haven't felt like doing any drugs at all. The day after I had the normal kinda fatigue/hangover with great headspace afterglow from the molly. I got some 5htp and ALA to take to kind of ease me out of it. But I was generally fine.
Next day I woke up feeling great and at baseline. I drank a meal replacement shake in the morning with several vitamins and anti-oxidants and felt fine but then after this I felt really sick maybe an hour later and felt kinda general malaise all day, which I thought could be some blood sugar related issue or something. I went to be early and felt fine when I woke up.
Next day I didn't drink any meal shakes and didn't take any supplements other than the 5-htp. I ate kind of a big breakfast and had some pizza that afternoon instead of the usual healthy regime. I drank a couple of energy drinks (I used to be addicted to caffeine and energy drinks but hadn't done any all month) and I felt completely fine.
I drank one of the meal shakes before going to bed and then when I woke up today I have had a lot of vertigo. I also drank one for breakfast. I don't feel the malaise like I did a couple days ago, but if I stand up fast or move my head or whatever it's like I am losing my balance. I haven't really had that happen to me before.
So I'm just trying to figure out how to pinpoint the root cause of the problem, whether it be the meal shakes, me having some sort of blood sugar/carb imbalance, the chronic ear problems I've had all my life, perhaps overexercise, diet issues, after-effects from molly, mild hppd, mephedrone withdrawal, sleep imbalance, or some combination. I'm not going to trip again on anything til I feel 100% "normal" for a few days (although the major depression I have that has been relieved by drug use is hardly "normal" and SSRI's fuck me up way worse than rec stuff tends to do)
I just want to be healthy and a major insight I've gotten from my introspective tripping has been just how unhealthy I've been, and frankly the drug use is not the most unhealthy part for me, more letting go and not loving myself and depression and eating like shit and not exercising, which I've been able to greatly improve upon in the recent history.
So I just would like to know what the cause of the vertigo could be really, I am worried it could be a major medical thing but I'm hoping it's just something specific like the meal shakes, just I don't have anything scientific with which to measure what the cause might be.
Generally from drugs the only ones I've gotten vertigo from are 2ce and salvia. Salvia's vertigo is the worst and lasts the entire trip as my equilibrium cannot tell which direction gravity is in and I end up merging with the bed or wall or floor or couch, so I don't do that very often anymore. But it's been well over a week since I did 2ce/sally and it wasn't until two days after the molly trip wore off that I had these odd symptoms. and it is weird that it skipped a day, which leads me to wonder if it's the meal shakes.
I know I have a potassium issue where I'm more sensitive than usual and I just noticed today that they have more potassium than I thought, but I've been using the shakes all month with no problem, and am trying to pinpoint if the new batch I got is bad or something. I don't think that vertigo can be caused by potassium OD.
Maybe I'm just being hyper paranoid, but as many drugs as I've done this month and even doing a lot more than usual I don't think I'm that out of control or being overly insensitive to my health, in fact I've been the opposite, kind of health-obsessed lately and exercising a lot more, and have been losing weight.
LIke a week ago I did too much meph to where I fucked up my sinuses and have decided not to snort meph anymore (saving that injection route for K only), and I know sinus crap can cause vertigo but the thing is that my sinuses have seemed fine.
I did find that some of the supplements I was taking (like my MV and vit C) were expired for a few years.
So I've been feeling like I've been too gung ho trying to solve all my problems all at once (mental / physical / emotional / spiritual) and I overexerted myself somewhere, but the only thing I really feel I overdid was the nasal meph but I stopped that long enough ago that I really don't think it could be WD from that.
I just want to be physically healthy and I know the reason why I get out of shape and feel physically like shit is from depression, and drugs help me cope with the many depression issues that I have, but then I don't need them to fuck me up physically too, I'm trying to heal myself somehow, and I don't know if I'm just sick like I caught some bug or have a disease or something or if I fucked up somewhere.
I'm just getting really anxious that I can't pinpoint the root cause, as facing and dealing with the root cause of issues seems to be the magic secret to fixing problems. Well the root cause of everything is stress/anxiety/depression, but that is what I've been trying to fix through self-medication and weight loss / exercise. So I feel kind of catch-22, if I'm going to deal with vertigo and shit maybe I should just do more MDMA so I can at least not feel so upset by it, but I'm thinking that if I start thinking that way it's going to start a bad cycle, and really the drug use has been helping me pull out of a major rut I've been in for years so I don't want to use it as a tool to mask the symptoms but rather to solve the problems.
I guess I can just hope that tomorrow I'm really at baseline, I don't mind a little HPPD but I'm really not digging vertigo or malaise especially when I have no freaking clue where it is coming from, there are just too many contributing factors. It could just be completely stress-related though, I have been juggling way too many things for one person to be dealing with all at once.
